Self-Esteem or Systems? How to Tell What’s Stuck at Your Camp
🧭 The Two S’s Check-In: A Summer Camp Leadership Coaching Template
If you’re like most heart-centred camp leaders, you’re juggling people problems, broken systems, and a deep desire to do meaningful work. And in the middle of it all, you’re asked to lead.
To give credit where it's due, this is a synthesis of the way that Beth and I both think about camp leadership. Beth said to me that the world would be a better place if we just fixed everyone's self-esteem. And I've come to understand what a deeply wise statement that is. And I'm the one who thinks in systems.
Here’s a tool that helps cut through the noise.
✳️ What Are the Two S’s?
Most persistent problems in organizations trace back to one or both of these:
Self-Esteem — Someone doesn’t feel safe, seen, or capable.
Systems — Something’s missing in the structure: unclear roles, broken feedback loops, or inconsistent processes.
The Two S’s Check-In is a quick, repeatable framework to get unstuck, without overthinking or blaming. Use it in 1:1 coaching, team retros, or self-reflection.
🔍 Step 1: Surface the Challenge
Start by naming the tension.
Ask:
“What’s a persistent issue that’s draining time or energy?”
“Where do things feel stuck, foggy, or frustrating?”
Keep the description tight. Two sentences max.
✏️ Example: “My senior staff aren’t taking ownership. I keep stepping in.”
🔎 Step 2: Diagnose with the Two S’s
Use these lenses to make sense of the issue.
Ask This:
🧠 Self-Esteem
“Is someone feeling unsure, unseen, or unsafe?”
🏗 Systems
“Is something unclear, inconsistent, or missing in the setup?”
🔄 Both?
“Could it be a mix of both?”
Encourage leaders to pause and reflect. This is often where clarity hits.
👀 Watch for statements like: “They should just know!” → That’s a systems issue.
💬 Or: “I don’t think they believe they can do it.” → That’s self-esteem.
🛠 Step 3: Make Small Shifts
Once you know the domain, ask:
“What’s one small thing I could do to build self-esteem here?”
“What’s one small improvement I could make to the system?”
You’re not solving everything. You’re restoring flow.
💡 Examples:
Write clearer instructions. (Systems)
Give praise before redirecting. (Self-Esteem)
Define what success looks like. (Both)
This is about leverage, not perfection.
🗣 Step 4: Communicate It Well
Your words matter. Share the shift in a way that feels generous, not corrective.
You might say:
“I realized our system wasn’t supporting you. Here’s what we’re changing.”
“I want to make sure you feel trusted and clear — how can I help?”
Make it a 'we' conversation, not a 'you' problem.
🔁 Step 5: Follow Up and Reflect
Next time you meet, ask:
“What shifted?”
“Did the small change help?”
“What surprised you?”
If it worked, reinforce it. If not, revisit the Two S’s — problems evolve, and so does your response.
🧭 Final Thought
You don’t need to fix everything.
You just need to know what kind of problem you’re facing — and where to apply a little pressure.
Because when people feel valued (Self-Esteem) and their environment makes sense (Systems), they thrive. So does your mission.
****a note about AI use: I'm using it all of the time for about 95% of my communications and consulting work. AI helps me solve for my learning/writing disorder AND helps me respond to contribute more to making the job of camp director a little bit easier.
